Confident Mondays: Four Things Girls are Self Conscious of(and why they shouldn’t be!)

We all know as girls, we have it pretty hard. From weird bodily functions to wardrobe mishaps and frustration and keeping our hair in one place; and that just skims the surface.

I find that most girls, if not all of the ones I have met in my lifetime are somewhat self conscious of something. Our species basically feeds on low self esteem, and it’s sad really. These beautiful,intelligent,funny, and kind people get down on their selves, because they find aspects of themselves not “good enough”.

A lot of things could influence this,things like bad childhood memories, nagging parents, peer pressure, and the media.

Speaking of the media, there are constantly new trends; what you should wear, what you shouldn’t, how your face should be “shaped” and “contoured”, how to stay fit, toned,’healthy’ , things that everyone seems to be following.

We are constantly bombarded with images of flawless(ahem it’s called concealer and foundation people) skin and ‘perfect’ bodies that make us wonder how we could possibly live up to it.

These imaginary criticizing voices in our head, and the fear of judgement from others, and not fitting in.

It’s hard.

Luckily, myself, I have never been much of a trend follower;that is I usually either make fun of them or praise them, or just make up my own! But I have experienced the lows of self esteem issues; the days where nothing fits right, where you don’t want to go outside, when you think everyone is looking at that one blemish on your face. I’m sure everyone has had their fair share of those days. It’s hard to step out with confidence, when you just feel plain yuck about yourself. And that’s okay. We all have days where it’s just better to stay home and pamper ourselves with the company of just ourselves. But it’s the way we constantly get down on ourselves, if daily, that effects our self esteem long term. Despite the outside influences, we are in the end who determines how happy we are with ourselves.

Here are the top four things I find that most girls are most self conscious of, and remember this is based on my opinions so it’s obviously not 100% accurate, and may be different for everyone.

1.Face

The face. Oh how often it is left in the sun for too long,or coated with layers of concealer,foundation,powders,blushes and treated with tacky creams or ‘treatments’ and ‘cures’. This might be hypocritical, but I actually have nothing against makeup. I’ve seen the confidence it brings to girls, and I think that aspect is great. That you have control over your own skin, and treat it like a palette for whatever you desire that day. I almost see it like art sometimes, and it’s quite nice. The thing about makeup, is the routine. Some people put it on for the first time and feel like it makes them look better. Thus, they keep applying everyday, and by the time they know it, they realize they can’t live without it. It’s a shield they need to hide what they think are flaws, and they feel bare without it. That is what I find sad about makeup. The addiction about it. The ‘I can’t go out without makeup’ mindset that develops quite quickly.Girls, I just want to tell you, underneath that layer of makeup, you are still beautiful. Sure you may feel confident with a flawless mask on, but trust me what’s underneath is equally great. You are enough. Let your face breathe for a few days of the week, and just be plain old natural you.

Another thing I find most commonly people in general are insecure about is acne. I know it may seem like the biggest obstruction to you, but to others, they either don’t notice or seriously don’t care. We are all to concerned with ourselves and our own insecurities to be worrying about others.Just know that everyone, from teenagers to adults go through phases of breakouts, and it kind sucks, but it passes. And if it’s really bothering you to the point where you don’t want to go out, there’s always things like concealer to temporarily fix the problem. With plenty of water,proper treatment of your skin,a healthy diet and exercise, I believe you will be on your way to better skin. But in the meantime, be patient and know that you’re not alone in this, and you look fine!

2.Weight

It’s hard to avoid this when everyone around you is constantly throwing around the word “fat”. Even if you were perfectly fine with your body before, it’s hard to maintain that esteem when all your friends are complaining about being too big or talking about dieting.

Remember, if your body is healthy and functioning properly, there is no need to change. Don’t try to mold yourself into someone else that you admire. It’s just a never ending process of frustration and self cruelty. Strive to embrace your body for all the things it does for you, and treat it with respect. It takes time, but learn to love yourself before anything else. For all the little ‘flaws’ ,nooks and cranks. Know that everybody is built differently, and as long as you have confidence, you will truly radiate inside and out.

I find that girls are most often self conscious of what they call “flab” on parts of their bodies(legs,arms,stomach). Let me just say, everyone has ‘flab’. Even the thinnest people have body fat. It’s normal. Your body needs fat to function and protect itself. It’s a biological need. Don’t fret over little things like if your legs jiggle a bit when you walk or you have a little pooch, because seriously, people see you for who you are; not what size you are.

3.Personality

Some people are naturally funny. Some are more quiet and keep to themselves. Some are energy bunnies and constantly hyperactive.We all have different personalities, and people we associate with like us for that. Don’t try to change yourself for someone else, or to try to “fit in” or be “cool”. Find people who love and appreciate you for who you are.

For example, I’m naturally  a little slow… haha when I was a kid I use to run into walls all the time. In fact, I ran into a glass door just the other day.I’m always the last one to get the joke, or pay attention. But my friends, though they laugh or roll their eyes in frustration, love me for that. If I wasn’t like that, I wouldn’t be the Naomi they know.

4.Intelligence 

I remember in fifth grade when someone dared to call me “smart” and I got mad at them for it. This was because I thought it was the most untrue statement of all time. To this day, I still do not consider myself smart, rather if I work hard I get the results. But I know many people who are clearly hardworking or naturally smart or talented, but don’t give themselves enough credit for it. Be appreciative of the skills you were born with or have developed over the years, instead of constantly comparing yourself to others. Because you know the saying, “there will always be someone richer,prettier and smarter..”, so don’t get to caught up with trying to be better than another person. This especially helps when it comes to a time when you need to apply for something like a job. Your employer does not want to hear about you yap about how  inadequate you think you are. They want to hear what skills you have and what you can bring to the table. And it doesn’t have to be intelligence. There are very little people born with just being able to know everything. Maybe you’re hard working,organized,good at swimming,baking or interacting with people. Everyone has something they’re good at, it’s just sometimes hard to think of when we’re so self critical of ourselves.

Girls, life is way too short to be constantly looking down or grunting at yourself in the mirror. Go on and enjoy life,laugh your heart out and make friends. Create good memories because it would suck if you look back at those years and recalled all you did was hate yourself and isolate yourself.

I know it’s hard to believe, but every one of you is beautiful in some way. You just have to find it,and learn to love yourself a little, because you’re going to be spending the rest of your life with you.

Sorry for the late post, but I hope you all had a wonderful start to the week.

Until next time,

have love and confidence

Naomi