Are you familiar with being on the wrong side of someone’s agenda? Maybe you’re used to holding up your walls and dismissing it.Maybe you’re courageous and a stronghead that finds the need to deal with conflict as soon as it hits.
Either way the feeling of neglectance or dislike from someone else towards you can be upsetting and confusing.
Perhaps you feel you didn’t do anything wrong, or you don’t understand why the other party has such aversion toward you.
It could be classmates, co workers, “friends” or even strangers.
Myself, I have tried for the majority of my life to please other people. Every year my resolution is to always be a kinder, more compassionate person. I will listen to you when you’re down. I will stand up for you even when you’re not there.I will walk hours to find the perfect gift because I want to see a smile on your face. Other people’s joy, brings me joy.
But every now and then there are people I encounter who just don’t like me. Little things like the wrong glances or passive aggresiveness leaves me hurt and confused, though I try not to show it.
Sometimes it’s all in my head, and as soon as I confront the other person, they are all smiles and “how do you do?”. I learned especially with strangers sometimes they’re not talking to you or giving you the stink eye(or so you think) just because they have a shy personality. I mean I have a hard time starting a conversation with strangers, so why do I expect everyone to be a social butterfly; haha oh right so less work on my part;)
But it’s those times when your instincts or the signs are true, that it’s the hardest.When you’re afraid to confront,because deep inside you know you’re not going to like the answer.
For anyone out there who are dealing or have dealt with a situation like this, just remember, most of the time if you haven’t done anything to offend or displace trust with someone and they don’t seem to want to associate with you, its not your fault. We all have people we encounter that just naturally rub us the wrong way. Maybe its because of jealousy,envy or just clashing personalities. For example a person who is usually self contained may not exactly love someone who’s constantly yelling into the crowd. Its like sometimes certain things just don’t mix. Neither party is wrong, its just the way things are.
If its a person you thought of as a friend who starts doing this, as hard as it is to accept, people grow apart. Sometimes things aren’t always meant to work out. We are constantly growing out of things, phases, changing and shifting, finding our own paths. You may never know what went wrong, you can keep replaying events that may have caused you to err, but in the end its best just to leave some compassion for yourself, and the other person. Maybe you realise you will be fine, life can resume normally even without that person, even though there will be moments when it still hurts. There will still be moments where you ask yourself in frustration “where did I go wrong?” or “did I try hard enough?”. And that is okay. It goes to show how deeply you care about your relationships.
Focus on the people you do get along with. The people you know will never turn their backs on you. The people you can’t live without. Hold on to them tightly. Hold on to the joy they bring you; where confusion, frustration or grey areas do not exist.
Be kind to yourself, and know that not a single person in this world is going to be appreciated by everyone. Just like how not every single person is going to like an earl grey tea, despite its good aroma.
Hope this experience I shared with you can help anyone who is going through this. It’s tough , I get it. But you will get through it:)
Till next time,