“Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional”
Life can be an unearthly balance, some days can be filled with undeniable happiness, while other days be consumed with dread and worrying. On those days, we tend to yearn for closing ourselves in and being left alone. In other words, the curling in a ball and crying, the mindless movie watching or t.v. show bingeing, the box of chocolates/or chips/ice cream/comfort food.All these things you see portrayed in the media that teaches you how to medicate in these situations. And sometimes it’s okay to let it out, in fact it’s healthy. We all need days to just be utterly alone and think, some people more than others. That is perfectly fine, but at one point we must ask ourselves, will crying and avoiding the situation make it any better. Sure these feelings will temporarily come and go, each time hitting us with more cruelty and then in relief, buried to the back of our minds while we get distracted with other things. Maybe we don’t like to deal with our messy feelings because we’re scared of facing them and the reason behind them.
I definitely had my fair share of sadness in my little lifetime, whether how mild it was is beside the point. I know how hard in the moment it is to deal with some things. Sometimes how hard it is to keep it bottled up.I’ve been practicing to challenge the negative thoughts catapulting into my conscience, resulting into these “sad” days and mucky feelings.
One of the things I ask myself is “what’s the worst thing that can happen”. I find that once I try to conjure the most horrible scenario possible, if I can deal with that somehow, the rest doesn’t seem so bad. I find that taking a short or long walk really helps me think, and clears my mind. I try to work my brain a little, disconnecting the little wires that build up the overwhelming battery of loathing or sadness.In the moment, I try to give myself a little pep talk, “take a breath”, “you’re going to be okay,you always do”..ect.
Sometimes it’s good to just say it aloud, depending on how personal the matter you’re dealing with is. Sometimes it’s funny to say it out loud, and hear someone’s opinion.
“I feel like dying in a hole right now”
“Haha. Welcome to the club”
It’s nice sometimes to confide in someone else,rather than bouncing the same ball in your head over and over again.
And I know there are days where you just feel so lonely. That you have no one to turn to, no one who would care to understand, the world is against you. But honestly, I don’t believe there is not at least one person you can talk to. It doesn’t even have to be about your issues, you can talk about cats if you wanted to. Just temporarily another person can be an oasis from the desert you’re suffocating in.Maybe you’ll end up talking about the problems you’re dealing with, maybe not. At least hopefully you had a laugh, or the feeling of someone being on the other side of the line.
Secondly, you have a choice of who your surround yourself with. If the people or person you associate with doesn’t have you at best interest or makes you feel like crap, don’t hang out with them. I know, easier said than done.Confrontation is hard, and it can get messy. Maybe try slowly backing out of the relationship if that is possible. Or tell them how you feel. If they don’t try to understand where you’re coming from or they give you crap for it, just let it go. You deserve to have a range of people who genuinely care about you, who make you laugh, who make you feel at ease with or carefree and internally good.
You have a choice of who your surround yourself with, and you have a choice of how you deal with situations.
Obviously we are not perfect. We can’t be obscenely happy all the time, and that’s okay. It’s the little accomplishments, when you’re able to turn your mood around even for a few hours or a day that makes a difference. Because you know you can do it.
Life gets tough sometimes, but if we chose to focus on the everyday kindness that is met with us and the will to swim out of the pool of disparity, I believe we can make it.